tiny · purring · sounds

when ryan was gone for two weeks in rochester he bought me this kodalux L exposure meter because we both thought my nikkormat's internal light meter was broken. turns out i'm just stupid and he's incredibly thoughtful. after the way i acted when kevin was here, i felt that a gift like that was pretty undeserved, but i also forget how easy and cheap it is to find great photo equipment everywhere upstate.

we ate some more of our mushrooms two days ago. it was a really fast decision and i was worried that they wouldn't work because it had only been about two and a half weeks since we had last taken them. taking them fresh was a dumb idea and i don't think we'll do that again, it just ends up being a huge waste because you can take almost a whole eighth and nothing really happens, no visual trip or anything. but dried, they were amazing. i could watch wood-grain run like blood through veins for hours. all we did was lay in ryan's room and talk, but it's hard to distance yourself from the trip for very long. i know i meant everything i said to him and there was a lot i didn't say that felt like a sudden revelation and way too crazy to ever vocalize. at one point he said we should get a house, that location wasn't what was important as long as we were away from the city, and i cried for probably the fifth time in four hours because any life like that is still years away, as much as we both want it.

it's taken this long for me to download narrow stairs and i am kicking myself a little over it. i'm tired from sleeping so much when i was on martha's vineyard but i really can't do anything except lay on my bed and listen to cath until i can talk to ryan at 1.

spending this week away from everyone is exactly what i needed. it just feels good to be with my mom and greg, they're so relaxing to be around, probably because they're so removed from everything in my life. we spent the day riding bikes from edgartown to oak bluffs, passing Henry Louis Gates Jr. on his tricycle. he dinged his bell at us and waved, "hello ladies!" that poor guy, he was pretty positive for being arrested recently.

on another note, ryan is the worst texter ever. i really hate when he goes home. his mom always manages to convince him to stay another day or two even though she won't see him, he's a complete momma's boy and i hate it. times when we're apart remind me how much i love spending my days with him. but i almost believe he loves rochester more than me.